The transformation of Saul, the fanatical persecutor, into Paul, the fervent preacher of good news to the Gentiles is one of the most dramatic tales in Scripture (Acts 9). That Damascus moment, when he encountered the Light of Life and the voice of Jesus
gently accusingly questioning, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” changed the course of his life entirely by altering not only what (or Who) he believed in, but the very purpose of his being.
His story has had me thinking about the Damascus moments along my way: ~ my conversion,
~ my call to ministry,
~ how I met my husband,
~ why we moved to the other side of the world,
~ how we came to settle in Wagga Wagga of all places ….
And I’m sure that that’s not going to be the last time that God gets my attention to move me in a new and unimagined direction!
In ministry I often come across people who are desperately searching to have their Damascus moment: an encounter with God that will lay to rest any doubts or uncertainties, reveal what their unique significance is in the world, and point out clearly the next steps that God wants them to take in this adventure that we call faith.
I think that it’s seldom as simple or easy as that!
As we look at Saul’s Damascus moment, we find that the encounter with Jesus left him blinded and completely dependent on his companions. He had to wait in the darkness for a stranger – who had every reason to fear and avoid him – to come and lay hands on him and heal him. And, after his transformation to Paul, throughout his travels, there was a constant leading of the Holy Spirit – now drawing him this way, now drawing him that way – that determined the “where to next” of his life and ministry.
In my own experience, no matter how clear the Voice, the vision, or the Scripture has seemed, each Damascus moment has only opened up a new possibility in my life, and journeying into that possibility has required risk, resolve (which my husband calls stubbornness), humility, and – my worst nightmare – utter dependence on God and on other people every step of the way.
For those in a process of transformation or discernment, praying for that Damascus moment, that elusive clarity, here are three gleanings from a fellow traveller:
- Make time for silence. Get away! Into the bush or the country, a retreat centre or monastery, a little hut with a kettle and toaster and no TV overlooking the sea. Without your cellphone or computer. Without that great book from your favourite author who you think can make the hard work easier. Without a 600 page commentary on Scripture. Take your searching heart and a pen and some blank paper, a Bible, walking shoes if you’re keen, or slippers and comfy pjs if you’re tired, and lots and lots of munchies because silence can be overwhelming and listening can be the hardest work of all.
- Participate in worship and mission regularly. And by participate, I don’t mean organise or lead. Some Sundays, be the person in the pew or handing a sandwich to a hungry preschooler, hungry yourself for that unexpected word to capture your attention, that song to move you, that story shared over tea time to get you thinking about more than whether the chairs have been packed away properly, or people heard what you were trying to tell them, or how things could go more smoothly next time. As Saul/Paul found, conversion and call is worked out in community – so be part of the Body into which you were baptised, as painful as that can be at times!
- Nurture companions for the way. I keep coming back again and again to my “Ananiases” – the people that God sent to help me make sense of what I had heard and what I was thinking. Sometimes, they advised me to wait; sometimes they told me to “go, go, go!” Sometimes they asked questions I didn’t really like or hadn’t really thought of. Sometimes they picked me up and bandaged my bloody hands and knees and nurtured and loved me until I had regained my strength and could try again. How I praise God for their company and wisdom and honesty and care! And how fascinating it is that there has been a different companion – God-provided – for every moment!!
And may God, our Constant Companion,
smile upon us in our times of settledness,
hold our hands in our times of change,
and bless us always in our becoming
as we make our way Home to Eternal Love.